September
18th
1995 – Second Entry
I needed to take a moment from the others to get my
thought together, writing these entries always seems to give me new
perspective on just what the hell is going on. Feels like “hell”
is definitely the right word... The dead are returning to life under
Ghast's command, Ani is still hurt, and Meryle is sick and getting
worse by the hour. Monster's story has certainly answered a lot of
questions about Ghast's origins and motivation, but we still don't
know anything about how to stop him. After Monster had finished
explaining the memories imparted by Ghast, we decided to question
Wraith extensively about how much of it was true, to which he
replied, “All of it.” Again, not that it makes and difference
now, seeing as how Ghast is still alive and its only a matter of time
until he finds this place. If Monster's story is as true as Wraith
claims it is, then he can kill us all with no effort at all. Ever
since I was taken by Dynatech, I've felt powerless among everyone,
and that fact glares back at me whenever I look at any of them now. I
couldn't take it anymore; death just seems to be creeping towards us
every passing moment, and in my weakness, I lashed out at Wraith whom
I believed was our ally and friend.
But Wraith did not put up a fight, not when I tackled
him to the floor, not when I kept punching the shit out of him, and
not even when I brought my gun to his forehead. I didn't care that
none of my attempts would or could harm him; I was desperate for some
sense of control, some need to satisfy some urge to feel as though I
could change my fate and survive this night. Blue tried to pull me
off of him but I shoved him back and proceeded to get away from
Wraith myself. I left the room to come here and calm down. Ani is
unconscious next to me, and though he looks at peace, I wonder how
someone as kindhearted as Animal could be connected to this asshole
named Styx. According to Ghast's memories, there is no proof that
Animal and Styx are connected, but Ghast seems certain that they are
one and the same. I also can't believe that Animal is also in the
same class of Primeran as Ghast as well. Wraith verified Monster's
belief that Ani was one of the apprentices for the so called “Black
Hearts.” Ani and Ghast couldn't be further apart and yet they are
both gifted with such abilities. Wraith did manage to tell us that he
never saw Styx use the same power that Ani has, and that he never met
Animal until that night we attempted to raid Cain's old Dynatech
facility. Wraith explained that he came here for the same reason as
Cain, that after Styx was executed and he was banished from
Pandemonium, he felt that he owed Ghast for the treatment he was
subjected to. Truthfully, he had came here to die. But finding Animal
and learning of what he was capable of gave him new purpose, and he
saw in him a chance to repay Styx for not stopping this madness
sooner. Mentoring Animal had become his way to atone for his crimes
against Ghast and Styx. But when Ghast appeared, he was faced with
the fear of realizing that only his death may truly absolve him of
his guilt.
Just now there was a massive earthquake, we only can
suspect that Ghast is back to full strength and is planning
something. I know that there is nothing that I can do to help in this
fight, but I'll be damned if I don't do anything at all. If we make
it through this I swear I'll find a way to pay them back for keeping
me alive. I will find a way to stand beside them when our lives are
threatened. I'll keep Meryle safe here while we find a way out of
this mess. I've never been a religious person, and frankly what I've
learned in the last few months has definitely made me question what
is and isn't real, but I suppose that even with everything that's
happened that there is still room for faith in the unknown. I guess
what I'm trying to say is that if something greater than all of this
watching over us, then just give us a hand. Please...
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